
We were fortunate enough to have both our mothers here to celebrate with us this weekend. We are ever-so-grateful for both of our mothers. As I learn more and more about the emotional and physical endurance of motherhood, I have fewer and fewer words for the gratitude I feel for my own mother. Funny how the more I feel I understand what she's done for me, the less I can express it. Maybe that's because what she's done for me has become so large, it doesn't fit into words.
I appreciate this poem that Suze posted on her blog a little while ago.
The Lanyard
Billy Collins
The other day I was ricocheting slowly
off the blue walls of this room,
moving as if underwater from typewriter to piano,
from bookshelf to an envelope lying on the floor,
when I found myself in the L section of the dictionary
where my eyes fell upon the word lanyard.
No cookie nibbled by a French novelist
could send one into the past more suddenly—
a past where I sat at a workbench at a camp
by a deep Adirondack lake
learning how to braid long thin plastic strips
into a lanyard, a gift for my mother.
I had never seen anyone use a lanyard
or wear one, if that’s what you did with them,
but that did not keep me from crossing
strand over strand again and again
until I had made a boxy
red and white lanyard for my mother.
She gave me life and milk from her breasts,
and I gave her a lanyard.
She nursed me in many a sick room,
lifted spoons of medicine to my lips,
laid cold face-cloths on my forehead,
and then led me out into the airy light
and taught me to walk and swim,
and I, in turn, presented her with a lanyard.
Here are thousands of meals, she said,
and here is clothing and a good education.
And here is your lanyard, I replied,
which I made with a little help from a counselor.
Here is a breathing body and a beating heart,
strong legs, bones and teeth,
and two clear eyes to read the world, she whispered,
and here, I said, is the lanyard I made at camp.
And here, I wish to say to her now,
is a smaller gift—not the worn truth
that you can never repay your mother,
but the rueful admission that when she took
the two-tone lanyard from my hand,
I was as sure as a boy could be
that this useless, worthless thing I wove
out of boredom would be enough to make us even.



6 comments:
Ooh, I love that poem! And I love your belly! You are beautiful!
Oh, Kate. Thank you so much. I LOOOOOOOOVE the poem, and will memorize it. How does one write likt that? To make the reader STOP! And REALLY listen, to laugh and cry and whisper, "yes!" to feel both depth and lightness all at the same time?
How do you DO that!?!
I love you!
Katie,
You look amazing! Glad to see your smile!
Jen CD
You look great and so, so happy!
Hi! I found your lovely blog thru "Prairie Daze" - a sister of a friend of Kristen's. Happy belated mother's day, and thanks for including this poem. A few years ago, I went to a Billy Collins poetry reading. This is the only one I remember from the whole night. Although he must have read this hundreds of times before, his delivery, in his wry deadpan, slightly New York accent, was perfect. Good luck with your home birth. Although I was at a hospital for both of my daughters' births, we used midwives, and I was very pleased.
thanks for visiting, lorel!
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